You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize