There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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