I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
