Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
