Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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