well I can't set my house on fire every night
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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