But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
operation harelip BJ is a go
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
