last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize