I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
