you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
