Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
