Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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