besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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