I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
