becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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