Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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