as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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