I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
