Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i jhust puked up my retainher.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize