She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
