I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
do herpes really smell.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize