Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
