Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize