I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
