I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
