i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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