Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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