dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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