thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
