Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
