Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My life is pants optional.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
