we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
