like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that đ I went with "no"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing âHappy Birthdayâ to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, âWhy didnât you sing along?!?â I responded, âI donât know him. I donât give a shit if he has a happy birthday.â
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