Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
