He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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