Your mouth is God's brothel.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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