The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
