i was born a porn star she said
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize