that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
