He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
My Higher Power is John Stamos
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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