I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
