Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize