Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
