And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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