if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
