Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
