She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If I die, sorry about rent.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
