Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
