I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize