I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
