Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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