ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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