quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
