What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Don't make out with my wife yet
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize