I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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