We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
