Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
