I hate all girls vehemently.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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