she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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