So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
