Moan for me like Helen Keller
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
