great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
