yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
