I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
