I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
