Midget sex pt 2 tonight
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
